John Bennett

Lori Collins

Ted (voice)

Rex

Donny

Guy

Thomas

Tami-Lynn

Robert

Frank

Narrator (voice)

Norah Jones

Sam Jones

Tom Skerritt

Young John

John's Dad

John's Mom

Alix

Tanya

Asian Man "Ming"

Gina

Tracy

Michelle

Greenbaum Kid

Kid #1 / Young Ted's Voice

Kid #2

Kid #3

Heavenly

Cherene

Angelique

Sauvignon Blanc

Waitress

Guy at Table #1

Guy at Table #2

Guy #1

Guy #2

Partygoer (Ted's Buddy)

Girl at Party

Teenage John

Plymouth PR Worker

Club Girl

Ellen

Crazy Guy

Stagehand

Waiter

Newscaster

Female Newscaster

Southern Newscaster

Husband

Wife

Bellybutton (voice) (uncredited)

Ted Danson (uncredited)

Jared (uncredited)

Party Guest (uncredited)

Club Patron (uncredited)

Concert Attendee (uncredited)

Tourist / Pedestrian (uncredited)

Liberty Mechanic (uncredited)